It’s Called Technophobia

As I wander around the internet and try to diagnose my issue of the day on “WebMD”, or if I want a more informed opinion by listening to “The View”, I realize that I am suffering from “Technophobia.”

And you ask, how do I know this? Well, over the past few weeks, my new phobia has been developing, but I missed the signals…… and yet there were many!

My first indication came recently when I was asking a lot of questions of Siri. Time of day, weather, sunny or cloudy, important issues dealing with Harry and Meghan, when I know what I heard……. Siri; upon giving me the same answers for the fifteenth time, Siri ended by calling me, a “numb nut”. I know she said it, I heard it plainly. I related this to good friends who suggested that maybe I needed more help than WebMD.

Second Indication: While doing the 100^th Zoom meeting, I really thought that I was getting particularly good at it…. you know, interesting, worldly and sophisticated in this new environment when something unusual happened. I was talking to a client, an older gentleman, about his finances and the world political issues, when I heard across my computer, shallow breathing, some snoring, and saw head nodding. A moment later, the computer screen went blank. Ten minutes later, my phone rang and the wife of that client told me politely that she found her husband fast asleep in front of the screen and put him in bed for a nap.

Third Indication: Getting lost in my car is not a new thing. I plan for it….. I’ve seen new places and met some wonderful new people by getting lost. And then came the GPS. No longer do I worry about finding myself in the unknown because my trusty GPS will turn me around. This day was an exception…. While trying to locate a street that was paved in 1878, I actually heard the GPS raise her voice and say, “you really are a “numb nut”. Is it really possible that Siri and the GPS are friends who now have, as their mission, a plan to move me to a retirement community?

And then the pièce de résistance: I was about to enter a full day tax seminar and began to enter the code numbers for the link to the Zoom meeting. After waiting to be admitted, I found myself entering the wrong Zoom….. I had entered The Undenominational Church Bingo game in Elk Horn Iowa. Although a tad flustered, the Church members were most welcoming and I decided that it would be more fun to play Bingo than listen to a tax seminar…. and I won! My prize was a complete dinner at the local restaurant, “The Poo Ping Palace, and Sub Shop,” oriental cuisine at its best in Iowa.

I’m gathering my notes to show my doctor in the hope that there is a cure. If not, I can always ask Dr. Phil. I can unequivocally say at this point in time, that the Pandemic has not created any issues in my life.

Take my advice for what it is…..It’s just as I see it.