Patience and the menu option… An oxymoron

I’m a big fan of the comic strip, Peanuts, and the wonderful character, Lucy. I love when she sits in front of what looks like a lemonade stand, with a sign, that says, “The Doctor is in…” Well Lucy, I need you now.

Usually, I’m the one trying to relax clients that come into my office, with words of advice and encouragement, but for those of you who read my blogs, I need your help.

I’ve been away on a business trip for a few days and had to change my airline reservations. I used one of the marvelous Internet trip booking systems to originally book this flight, so making a change should be a no brainer. Right? …Wrong. Who do you call? I looked over all the information and there was no phone number. I looked everywhere, and it dawned on me that they must hide the phone number. They don’t want you to call. It took me 15 minutes of repeating many expletives, and doing research to find an 800-phone number, and then the fun began.

I dialed the number and a computer operator told me their menu had changed. I always hear that, but who cares. I’m also told I have a 15 minute wait because of unusually heavy call volume. Again, who cares whether it’s unusual or heavy, just get me to a live person. There is no live person but then a well-known television personality comes on and in a low, dulcet tone begins to read some old limericks we use to hear when we were in the 4th grade. After listening to my 11th ditty, the computer operator came on telling me I have 10 options to choose from, none of which mentioned my problem. I quickly forgot the first 5 options and then panicked. I just hit any number and the operator came on and said I now had another 10 minutes of wait time.

Guess what, the actor came back on again, and started telling stories of his first high school prom – stories that were worse than the limericks. Finally, after learning that the actor had made a fool of himself at the prom, a live voice came on that definitely had the voice inflection of living far from here. She did sound pleasant and said that her name was “Sprinkle”, or at least that is what is sounded like, but that was the last word I understood. It appeared I was at the wrong menu option and before I could scream, I was back on hold, and my friend the actor was now back on, singing old Sinatra songs, but definitely didn’t sound like Sinatra.

Finally, a friendly live voice came on, and I explained my problem. She listened attentively, and was about to offer a solution to my problem, and then a “beep” came on and I was disconnected. The best I could then manage was a 30-minute nap, a glass of red wine, and remembering some of my past bible readings.

So what do I advise my clients in this predicament? What call to action can I give? Here is my answer: Take a nap first, bring out your family bible, and take a sip of your favorite beverage before you make the 1-800 journey.

And by the way, I wrote the actor giving him advice on his failed prom date.

Take my advice for what it is…. It’s just AS I SEE IT.